sadihak thinh

Sadihak lay in the blue quiet of night, unable to sleep.

It must’ve been around one-thirty am now. It had been twelve forty-five the last time they checked, and though they didn’t know exactly how long it had been since then, forty-five minutes seemed like a good bet. They didn’t want to risk checking again- it wouldn’t mean anything, and the harsh light of their phone, even on the lowest brightness, was too bright for their addled mind. Besides, they didn’t want to risk disturbing Enzo.

He lay beside him, deep in slumber. He was always so beautiful when he slept, and he always slept so deeply beside them, like he had been waiting all his life to be so at peace. In the pale moonlight that filtered from the crack in their bedroom window’s curtains, Sadihak liked to watch Enzo’s body rise and fall with his soft, sleeping breath. If they turned their head and let their eyes adjust to the dark, they could just make out his peaceful face- the lightness of his brow, the soft part of his lips. Sadihak envied his peace, his ability to go to sleep.

They and Enzo had been together for nearly ten years now. They shared everything- a home, their lives, a love Sadihak hadn’t experienced with anyone but him, ever. Tomorrow was their anniversary. Tomorrow they had planned an entire itinerary of activities- a romantic walk on the beach, a fancy dinner at the best restaurant in town, an evening spent in each other’s embrace. Tomorrow would be everything they had ever dreamed. Tomorrow would be perfect. Two days ago, Sadihak had found in the pocket of Enzo’s good jacket a velvet jewelry box perfectly sized for an engagement ring. They hadn’t looked inside. At least, that would be a surprise.

Maybe, it would be more perfect if Sadihak could get any sleep the night before. They turned to lay flat on their back and put their hands over their stomach. They took calming breaths, they tried that one hack they learned about turning off one’s body parts, they tried counting by threes til infinity. None of it worked. It was probably nerves, they thought. Nerves and excitement and anticipation. Of course, they wouldn’t be able to experience any of that if they crashed from lack of sleep the night before.

Enzo would understand, though. He always did.

Sadihak sighed, and sat up in bed. Their blanket slid off their shoulders, revealing bare skin to the cold night air. It was always so damn cold at night there, being so close to the water, but the pleasant days made it worth it. For a moment they simply stared into the blank darkness before them, and tried to think of anything that might help them rest. Water, maybe. Water could help.

They pressed a single, chaste kiss to Enzo’s cheek- brief enough he wouldn’t wake, and carefully rose from the bed. Their house was cool and empty in the night, awash with the blue of moonlight. The tile was cool under Sadihak’s bare feet, and they walked slowly so as to cause as little noise as possible. Though it was only a short walk from their bedroom to the bathroom, they made an effort to pass by the window outside. Beyond, they could watch the waves ebb and flow on the short. The ocean always brought them a sense of relief. How lucky they were, to live here, with the only one they could ever love as much as the ocean?

Sadihak didn’t turn on the overhead light in the bathroom, but the small, warm-lighted mirror light. It was easier on their eyes, and had less chance of waking Enzo. Even in the warm dim, Sadihak could see acutely how tired they looked- the bags under their eyes, the slickness of their forehead with sweat. They prayed they’d be able to actually rest, soon enough. If not… maybe they’d just have to be proposed to after drinking three cups of coffee.