closing time
Date: 07/15/2024, AT: 11:23 A.M [EEST]
To: RDavenport99@zmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: trip photos!!!
Message:
hi roy!
greetings from the woods! and LOOK AT THIS BIG TREE!! its been great here taisto has been taking great care of me i wish you were HEREEEEEE!!!! you should totally come visit if you get the chance
hows iowa been lately?
seriously look at this tree
glass
[ATTACHED: 3 photos]
Date: 07/15/2024, AT: 8:02 A.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: RDavenport99@zmail.com
Subject: RE: trip photos!!!
Message:
Wow that really is a huge tree!
Im glad you're having fun on your trip! it sounds great! how long are you staying in Elkland again?
Iowa is alright, same as always. Its so hot up here! I bet you're enjoying the cooler summer up there, huh?
We all miss you here! maybe when you get back we can all meet up again? I know Eben misses you.
What all have you been doing up there? outside of seeing giant trees lol
Roy
Date: 07/15/2024, AT: 4:30 P.M [EEST]
To: RDavenport99@zmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: RE: trip photos!!!
Message:
i totally think you would love it up here! so much woods and nature and animals everywhere its so cool! and taisto totally wants to see you again too he keeps telling me LMAO! he really is the best
im staying for a few more weeks and flying back at the end of august. maybe i can come up some time in the fall? i totally want to see yall again sometime soon i miss my iowa boys
ive been mostly just chilling! i went on a hike with taisto and zey yesterday but mostly ive been hanging out around their place! thnkfully taisto has internet for his school stuff so im able to send u these messages1! my chronic pain has been pretty shit lately tho so i haven't been able to do as much as i want :( but such is the reality of life :(
cant wait to talk to you again soon
glass
❂❂❂
Date: 08/30/2024, AT: 1:44 P.M [CST]
To: tstenbock@eluni.edu
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: thx for hosting!
Message:
hi taisto!
just landed back in the states! WHAT A LONG TRIP!!! and its absolutely the middle of the night here but thats what i get for a redeye LOL! currently typing this in a taxi home and ur my only friend awake
ty again for hosting me while i was in elkland! AND for taking me to your forest it was SOOOO COOL!!!
can you send over the photos you took while i was there so i can put them in my album? would greatly appreciate it! tyyyyy in advance!!
thx again forever an ever
glass
Date: 08/30/2024, AT: 10:04 A.M [EEST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: tstenbock@eluni.edu
Subject: RE: thx for hosting!
Message:
Glass,
Glad to hear you're back home safe! I'm missing you already, and I know Zeydein is too (even if he doesn't really show it). Here are the photos! (･ω･)b
BTW, I know it might be a bit too early to plan, but would you like to come back sometime in the spring? The weather will probably be nicer then! （´∀`）
Taisto
[ATTACHED: 26 photos]
Date: 08/30/2024, AT: 2:10 A.M [CST]
To: tstenbock@eluni.edu
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: RE: thx for hosting!
Message:
THANKKKKK YOUUUUUU
and dw about it ! zey was nice to me, even if he was a weirdo. a really nice weirdo!
andddd uhhh about the spring can you give me a call in about an hour? ill be back home then and i dont wanna type all this out lmao :P
ur the best
glass
❂❂❂
Date: 09/24/2024, AT: 3:34 A.M [CST]
To: ryu294857245@flexmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: hope i got your address right :P
Message:
hey ryu,
remember when i asked you if you would pay for my funeral? haha.
please don't worry over me too much,
glass
Date: 09/24/2024, AT: 3:34 A.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ryu294857245@flexmail.com
Subject: RE: hope i got your address right :P
Message:
glass are you doing alright?
❂❂❂
… view previous messages
Date: 9/03/2024, AT: 12:02 A.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
It's still tough but I've been trying. Roy keeps hoping we can find some way to stop it. I don't want to sound mean. I really don't know how to tell him to just give up hope. I think it would be easier for him.
Date: 9/03/2024, AT: 12:03 A.M [CST]
To: ebenh@zmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
i understand. sometimes its nicer to just give up and enjoy what time you have instead of spending all ur energy trying to find a solution that doesnt exist. i hope he doesnt take it too badly when.. yknow
roys a good guy he doesnt deserve all that :(
…
Date: 9/10/2024, AT: 4:54 P.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
WAAAUGHHHHHHH ough my joints r hurting so bad today i wanna lie on my bed forever n ever and never leave by maxxine made me go to the thrift shop to look for new earrings today like girl let me go home im TIRED i wanaa SLEEP walking HURTS
anywys howve you been lately?
Date: 9/10/2024, AT: 5:01 P.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
Oof, I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad day out. Are you home now, at least?
I'm doing pretty alright all things considered, pretty chill day.
…
Date: 9/30/2024, AT: 9:12 A.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
Hey Glass, are you doing alright? I haven't heard from you in a few days.
Date: 9/30/2024, AT: 9:12 A.M [CST]
To: ebenh@zmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
sorry. ive been so tired lately its been hard to do anything. i think its getting close to the end.
❂❂❂
Date: 5/07/2024, AT: 11:12 P.M [CST]
To: ebenh@zmail.com
From: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
when i die i want you to speak at the funeral ok? u arent getting out of this >:] gotta respect the wishes of the deceased
Date: 5/07/2024, AT: 11:14 P.M [CST]
To: glassdollz@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: the illness may be chronic but at least i look iconic
Message:
Ok, haha. I'll do my best not to disappoint.
❂❂❂
Date: 10/05/2024, AT: 3:13 A.M [CST]
To: ebenh@zmail.com
From: maxxinejohnson@yayhoo.com
Subject: important
Message:
this is Maxine, Glass's bandmate
glass died last night. she wanted you to be first to know
sorry
Date: 10/05/2024, AT: 3:34 A.M [CST]
To: maxxinejohnson@yayhoo.com
From: ebenh@zmail.com
Subject: RE: important
Message:
thank you for letting me know.
sorry for your loss, too.
"No church?" Eben commented idly as he and Maxine walked along the beach, where they had set up for Glass's funeral service. There were rows of rattan chairs and a small stage area, decorated all in flowers. Glass's coffin had not yet been brought in. Eben was glad- he knew it would be harder to maintain what composure he had if it was there.
"It's not what she would've wanted. You knew Glass, always… doing things her own way." Maxine sighed. Eben had not spent much time with Glass's bandmates before- in the time Glass was alive, they hadn't met more than a handful of times. These last few days, he had spent more time with them than he had ever before. He still wasn't comfortable around them- but Glass cared about them and Glass cared about him, so he would do what he could. He would learn to manage.
"Mhm…" Eben hummed in light agreement. "Honestly, I don't think any of us would want to step foot in a church again, anyways."
The day he found out, he flew down to Texas- to see her, to be there with others who knew her. He could not explain the impulse that drove him to such an irrational, quick decision. He just knew he needed to. Those first few days were dreamlike- anguish and grief and a quiet absence left by the one person who drew them together. As the funeral drew closer and closer, it became easier to bare. More people were arriving- Roy and Inu had flown down from Iowa, Hannah soon followed. Taisto came from Elkland, Ryu came from Japan, Darcy came from Verend. It was easier to bear, now, in silence. Eben wondered how difficult it would be when he had to bear it in front of others.
Dawn peaked crimson and peach-colored above the eastern horizon- the color of Glass's hair. The funeral began later that morning. He only had hours til he had to find out.
Maxine paused at the back of the aisle, as if she was yet afraid to pass through it. She put her hands on her hips, and sighed heavily. "Still so hard to believe… you know, she always loved the sea…"
"Mhm." Eben hummed. He tugged on the corner of his glove, making sure it completely covered the skin of his hand. He didn't know what to say.
"How is your speech coming along?" Maxine asked.
Words caught in Eben's throat, unbidden and confused. Upon his arrival, Maxine, Gwen and Tara had informed him that it was one of Glass's final wishes that he speak at her funeral. She had thought that no one but him would be able to put her life in the context it deserved. Of course, Eben already knew of this. Glass had brought it up more times than he could count. It didn't make the task any easier to undertake.
"I think… that should be possible. I only have to look it over a little more… make sure everything's right." Eben hummed. He kept his gaze not on Maxine, but on the infinite, calm sea. "I think I'm ready."
Maxine sighed heavily. "Well, that makes one of us.
It was now an hour that Roy had spent in front of the hotel mirror, fixating over his appearance. It was a nervous tic, he knew- to focus solely on what was in his control, to make up for the complete lack of control he had in the rest of his life. Rarely had he felt so out of control as he did now.
Small sparks jumped from his fingertips as he adjusted the positioning of his bangs- unfortunate, as the static electricity lifted strands of auburn hair and disrupted all his work so far. Roy sighed heavily, and braced himself on the countertop. He closed his eyes and counted backwards from ten, trying to calm himself down.
Glass had been dead for a week now. An entire week, and she was dead. Gone. Forever and ever. Was he still in shock? He had to be. It just didn't feel right- it didn't feel possible. Glass, so full of energy and passion and life, so suddenly gone. Didn't he know this was always going to happen? Didn't he try to anticipate this? Still, it felt wrong. A life so dear to him, ended so suddenly. Like a candle snuffed out.
"Are you doing alright, Roy?" Darcy asked from the main hotel room. While Eben had been here for the whole week and Roy and Inu had flown down three days ago, Darcy had only be able to step away from work for a few days, and had flown down from Verend on a red-eye the night before. That morning, he'd arrived at the hotel Roy and his partners were staying at to get ready for the funeral together.
Darcy had not been especially close with Glass. He made it no secret that he had come to support Roy and his other friends who had known her better. Roy did not mind. He appreciated the honesty. He appreciated all the support he could get, now.
"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine." Roy half-lied. He glanced himself over once more- his hair unstyled, his shirt rumpled, his tie not yet tied around his shoulders. He didn't look fine. He didn't feel fine.
Darcy peeked in through the door- at least he looked decent. "Inu said he's almost back from the coffee shop. Remember, we're leaving in about half an hour."
"Mhm." Roy hummed in reply automatically.
At that, Darcy stepped fully into the doorway and beheld Roy's appearance. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean- if you want to talk, I'm here. For you."
Thank God for Darcy and his awkward compassion. Roy sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his hair. "I just- I can't believe she's gone. She's- she's really gone-"
Darcy approached Roy carefully, and offered a handkerchief. Though Roy didn't feel like he would start crying yet, he took it anyways. "It just… it doesn't feel real…" He confessed.
"Shock is a normal part of grief." Darcy said, adjusting his glasses as he spoke. "Whatever you're feeling, however you're feeling it- it's all normal. You've lost someone important- and even though it might've been expected, her loss is still felt."
Though they did not ease his heart or mend the wound upon him, the words meant a lot to Roy. "Thank you…" He murmured. "I don't- I don't really know what to do about all of this." He had lost before. Pets, older family members. Friends that had moved away long ago. He hadn't lost like this before. This was a pain sharp and fresh and new.
"Well…" Darcy sighed heavily. He adjusted his glasses again- a nervous tic of his own. "I think Glass would've liked it if you went to her funeral, at least."
The further the sun traveled up in the sky, the more people arrived at the funeral venue. Some Ryu recognized, some she didn't. All, she supposed, had known Glass in one shape or another. All were here to mourn here. Such was the way of funerals.
Ryu stood on the sidelines- away from the caravan of cars dropping off funeral-goers, away from the chairs people were already filing into, away from the chatter and conversation and sympathies to those closest to the deceased. She stood close to the water, looking not out to the sea but at the people arriving, with a cigarette on her lips. She needed something stronger.
As Ryu watched the visitors arrive, one in particular caught her eye. Enya must've brought her own car- it seems she had come alone. She wandered among the crowd aimlessly, in a smart, but casual, deep blue dress, til her gaze caught Ryu's. She approached.
"Ryu- thank God, someone I recognize," Enya laughed awkwardly. "Can't say I've ever been to a funeral on a beach before… first time for everything, I guess."
Ryu had been to more funerals than she could count. It was part of the business. It wasn't even the first time she'd been the one paying for it. Not the first time she was at the funeral of a woman she had loved. "Leave it to Glass to do something original.." She hummed dryly.
"Mhm. Yeah." Enya sighed. "Wow. I just… I can't believe she's really gone. I mean, we all knew it would happen someday, but…"
Ryu had not been the first to be informed of Glass's death- she knew that honor had been bestowed to Eben. It made sense. They had been close. When Ryu had been informed, the message from Glass's survivors (the remaining members of the band) had been curt, emotionless, and business oriented. "One of your beneficiaries has passed away, we have been informed of your agreement to finance the funeral" would've been more heartfelt. Ryu had not expected more. More would've made things complicated. She could afford to pay for flowers and food and the beach space for the day. She could'be afford to let her feelings get involved.
"Mhm." Ryu hummed in acknowledgment, after he had remembered that Enya had spoken to him. "Death catches up to all of us eventually."
"I suppose so…" Enya sighed, and looked out towards the sea. "Are you staying in town after the funeral?"
Glass's death had left a burning hole in Ryu- like a cigarette burn through cotton. He hadn't cared for her- had he? Ryu was good at not getting attached. She hadn't been attached to Glass- and Glass was not attached to him. Their relationship, while it had existed, had been perfectly laid out in terms of non-attachment.
And yet, absence left an emptiness when so suddenly taken away. Ryu found herself uncomfortable in that feeling.
"I don't know. I guess I'm free for a while." He said plainly. "Why, did you have anything in mind?"
Enya's face was expressionless, her voice even more so. "I don't know. I was just asking.
Eben's cue was after the music ended. He was the very first speaker out of very few- the one who would open the ceremony. It was more pressure than he would've appreciated. He wouldn't complain, though. It was more of an honor, than anything.
Glass's friends, her fellow bandmates, put on a good show. The song they played was melancholic and sad- a little dischordant, lacking Glass's steady bassline that might've pulled it all together. Perhaps that was the point.
After Maxine and Gwen cleared the stage with their instruments, Eben walked to the stage, and faced the crowd. From the corner of his eye, he looked to Glass's coffin- an open casket, her crystalline body serene and sleeping within. She looked peaceful. Had it hurt, for her? Why hadn't he been there when it happened? Why did she have to go so soon after he had met her?
He cleared his throat, took in a deep breath, and faced the crowd.
"Hello, everyone." He said, not bothering to mask the awkwardness in his voice. "I'm Eben, a close friend of Glass's. Before she died, she asked me to speak at her funeral, and it'd be rude of me not to fulfill the obligation."
He paused. He was not expecting a reaction from the crowd- he was not expecting much of anything. His hands- still gloved, still trembling, curled around the papers where he'd written his speech outline.
"I'm… I'm sure everyone here can agree, Glass was like no other. She was able to make friends with anyone- almost anyone, she always had a smile on her face. Even in the harshest of times, she was there to laugh and smile… to bring what joy she could into the world."
He glanced at his outline. He looked to the crowd.
"Glass's loss will not go unfelt by those who loved her, and those she loved in return. The lives she touched are too many to number- certainly, everyone here today, and far more. She will be remembered by each of us, until we each join her."
Was this really what he had written? Was this giving her justice? Was this what Glass would've wanted him to say?
She was the only person who, even remotely, had understood him. The only one who had come close to knowing what he felt like. Was this how she wanted to be memorialized? Platitudes and nice sayings to soothe a grieved mind?
Eben closed his eyes. He took in a heavy, painful breath. When he opened them, he looked not to the crowd, but to Glass.
"Glass once told me, she knew she when she was going to die when she was six years old. As soon as she could comprehend her powers, she knew what they were doing to her." Eben said. "Somehow, with this doomed fate weighing on her shoulders, Glass was able to keep going. Maybe it was because she knew her life was so short, that she went on so boldly. No one could tell her no. No one ever dared. She lived more fully than anyone I have ever known."
"Glass always knew she was going to die young." He was off script. He was fully off script. And yet, he kept speaking. "Perhaps it was because of this she was able to live so fully. Maybe it helped her be less afraid. And yet, no matter how predictable her death was- is it not tragic it was cut off so short? Isn't it cruel that she's gone, no matter how obvious it was that she would be one day?"
Glass told me things she hadn't told anyone else, his mind conjured up, but he wouldn't say it out loud. He wouldn't betray her trust like that. She told me how she feared death, how she could feel it coming even in the happiest times. She told me how afraid she was. Did she tell you those fears?
He breathed in. He exhaled. "Glass's life was one marked by an impending, close death. That fact cannot be taken away from the story of her life. But… I don't think that's how Glass would've wanted to be remembered. In fact, she probably wouldn't have wanted this to be a somber affair at all. But… we're still here, and we miss her, so… I guess she'll have to put up with that."
"I will not pretend to speak for the dead, but… I think if Glass was here, now, the thing she would want us all to take from her life would be not to be afraid. To not let one's life limit us. To live freely, and love fully, all the joys of the world. To find something, no matter how small, to get you through the day."
He looked to Glass again. In sleeping, perfect death, she was smiling. He smiled back. "We will always remember her, but she wouldn't want us to dwell on our misery. That was the wonderful thing about her. There will never be another Glass Sorakot."