the crowd-pleasers

As soon as Peregrine's smug smile washed across his face, Darcy instantly regretted asking him.

"Oh," his roommate draped a lazy hand over his chest, which his open shirt was doing a poor job of covering. Come to think of it, Darcy didn't think he had ever seen Peregrine in an outfit that didn't show off his tan, toned, hairless chest. "You want me to come to your work dinner? Well, I guess I know better than anyone how to get a party started."

"I don't want you to come." Darcy brushed away Peregrine's other hand, which had, like always, found its way to his collar. "I'm asking you if you can come. Alejandro had a family emergency, and the department heads are expecting me to show up with a partner. It's really all for show- the evnt isn't about me- but I can't show up alone." He took in a breath, preparing himself for the next, horrible words to come out of his mouth. "You were the best option."

Peregrine's eyes lit up behind his rose-colored shades. He laughed- cackling and sharp and dry. "So you want me to pose in for your boyfriend!" He cackled. "Oh, Darcy, darling, I thought you'd never ask! Would you like me to stand in for him in bed, too? Though, I suppose we won't be doing much standing." He winked, over-exaggeratedly.

"Shut up." Darcy said through his teeth. "All you have to do is hang around and make smalltalk. You're supposed to be good at that, aren't you? Parties?"

"Real parties. Not stuffy work dinners." Peregrine corrected. He tapped Darcy on the nose. "I don't suppose you'd like me to liven up your little shindig. I don't usually bring my own supply to a party, but if you're really in desparate need for some co-"

"Enough." Darcy cut him off, less than eager to hear about all the drugs Peregrine could bring to his very professional, very important work party. "You're going to go with me, you're going to act civilized, and we're going to go home and never talk about this to anyone ever again."

A devilish smirk grew over Peregrine's features. "And why would I do that?"

"Consider it payback for all the times I've driven you around town."

After considering this for a moment, Peregrine's expression shifted into a fake-sweet smile. "Fine. I'll come to your drab little party. No doubt, I'll be the most interesting person there."

Darcy sighed, and drew his hand over his features. "Just get dressed. Professionally, please. We're leaving in an hour."

---

Try as he might, Darcy hadn't succeeded in getting Peregrine to dress to his standard of proffessionality- but, at least, he had gotten him to wear a suit. Buttoning up his collar was another story. But with Peregrine, Darcy had learned to identify what battles were worth fighting. This one, absolutely was not.

The dinner was held at a fancy New-Age French restauraunt on the west side of town, in the top tower of a just-as-fancy hotel. They'd be treated to views of the skyline and the riverfront as they dined on tiny portions of lemon-garnished salmon and goose confit.

Darcy and Peregrine arrived at what Darcy would consider to be a fashionable hour, just as other attendees were arriving. While Peregrine lagged behind, checking out his reflection in the chrome blob passing as art in the lobby, Darcy approached the host at the front of the restraunt entrance.

"Reservation name?" The host asked. He was a clean-shaven, primly dressed young man in a dapper, if a little boyish, suit.

"Darcy Sterling," He reported, and as he noticed Peregrine approaching and remembered the horrible truth it was him he was attending this party with instead of Alejandro, added, "and guest."

"Peregrine Marvell, dear." Peregrine winked at the host, as if Darcy had not just introduced him. "You've probably heard of me."

"We're part of the Lawrence party." Darcy clarified, determined not to acknowledge Peregrine.

"Ah, here you are." The host nodded, checking his screen. "Eight O'Clock. We're still getting your table ready, but you're free to enjoy some drinks at our bar."

"Is there anything else on the menu?" Peregrine leaned over the host stand, toying with the host's bowtie. "I wouldn't be opposed to enjoying your cock, for example."

Before the poor, flustered host could get a word in edgewise, Darcy looped his arm around Peregrine's elbow and dragged him into the restraunt. "Alright. Let's get to the bar."

"So much for having some fun tonight…" Peregrine muttered as he was dragged between tables of guests quietly eating and waiters elegantly holding plates above their shoulders on one hand.

"Did you have to flirt with the host?" Darcy muttered back, not caring to keep his disdain out of his voice.

"What, are you jealous?" Peregrine leaned over him, whispering close to his ear. "I'd love to ditch this boring dinner and enjoy you for a little while…"

"Shut up." Darcy pushed Peregrine away from him. "Everyone can see us."

"And here I thought I was supposed to be your boyfriend…" Peregrine clucked his tongue, never missing the oppurtunity to make a show of it, in some approximation of cunnilingus performed on the air.

Soon, they were at the bar and had recieved the attentions of the bartender. Peregrine ordered first.

"A sex on the beach." He relished every word, drawing it out with a smirk on his face. Darcy was certain he only chose that cocktail because of the name.

"And for you?" The bartender turned towards Darcy.

"Vodka, neat." He said simply.

"Well, well, well…" Peregrine teased as the bartender turned to make their drinks. "You didn't strike me as the type to drink straight liquor. I always got more of a… Shirley Temple vibe from you, if I'm being honest."

Their drinks arrived. Darcy took a small sip of his before answering Peregrine. "I'm going to need it tonight."

If Peregrine had any more thoughts about that, he didn't express them verbally, instead deciding to nurse his cocktail silently.

Relieved to not have to deal with Peregrine's jabs for a brief moment, Darcy scanned the restraunt for anyone he knew. He spotted one of his coworkers- a tall, blonde woman named Elke- and waved her over.

"Elke, it's so great to see you." He greeted, making space for her by the bar. "Last I heard, they were still getting our table ready."

"Oh, that's too bad. I came later than I was going to, just to avoid this…" Elke shook her head.

Faced with the potential of someone new to harass, Peregrine perked up. "Oh, and you must be one of Darcy's coworkers! Elke, was it? I'm Darcy's boyfriend."

"Ohhh…" Elke looked over Peregrine, scrutinizing him. "You look… different than I had expected." Nonetheless, she offered her hand for a handshake.

Peregrine cradled Elke's hand in his own, and leaned down to kiss it. The act was too long and too sensual for the occassion, and when her hand was finally freed, Elke wiped it on her cardigan. Peregrine wasn't discouraged. "Peregrine Marvell, at your service. Maybe we can sneak away from the party at some point. I'd love to see what you look like under that pretty little dress."

"Ahah-hah." Elke gave a forced laugh. "Darcy, this is… your boyfriend?"

It took all of Darcy's willpower not to drag his hands over his face and melt into a pile of embarrassed misery on the floor. "Kind of. It's a long story."

Elke frowned, apparently not satisfyied. "Well, Peregrine… what do you do for work?"

"Oh, darling, I thought you'd never ask." Peregrine flashed a smile. "I-"

"Oh, look!" Darcy interrupted, fighting to keep the strain out of his voice. "There's Dr. Lawrence! It looks like they're setting up our table!"

"Oh, you're right!" Elke looked over to where Darcy gestured. "Well, it was nice chatting with you two."

Darcy and Peregrine lingered behind for a moment- Darcy, because he needed a moment to compose himself, and Peregrine, for god-knows-why.

"That Elke… she seems sweet." Peregrine commented idly. "A bit peppy and naive, sure, but sweet."

Peregrine? With a genuine compliment towards another person? Was this a dream? Had Darcy died and gone to heaven? Was he finally, actually, acting responsibly?

"Yeah, she's nice." Darcy replied.

"Soooo…" Peregrine turned towards him, a characteristic smirk on his lips. "Have you two ever fucked in the office?"

Darcy was flabbergasted. He didn't even know where to begin. First, and maybe most importantly, "I'm gay!"