gemini and cancer

It was a cool, clear summer night, and the sea air smelled like salt and beautiful, infinite possibility.

Sadihak lingered on the veranda, facing the sea. Still in their short-skirted, low-cut party dress, they wrapped their sheer shawl close around their shoulders to try and hide from the chill. The day had been pleasantly warm- they had ventured out on a yacht to see one of the outer islands in the bay, they had watched children playing in the surf while they lounged under an umbrella, they had enjoyed good food and good wine at the country-house party they had just now stepped away from. A full moon hung over a restless sea, set among a bed of crystalline clear stars. It was a sight like Sadihak had never seen before.

They took another long drag from their cigarette, exhaling the smoke into the clean air of the night. It really was nice out.

Behind them, a voice. "Did you get kicked out of the party for smoking?"

Sadihak turned around- a shock of terror running through them as they assumed they were in trouble and were about to get kicked out of the fanciest party they had ever attended. Swift relief soon followed as they realized it was only Enzo. The chronically dissheveled but intimidatingly handsome, moody young heir who had all but begged Sadihak to accompany him to his family retreat on the coast for the summer stood in the wash of the light of the party, lingering between the inside, where he was expected to pretend- to play a role, and outside. Where Sadihak was.

"Ah, no." Sadihak sighed in relief, and put out their cigarette on a hopefully discreet part of the balustrade. "I just came out here to get some air."

Enzo thought for only a moment, but seemed to accept Sadihak's excuse. He took once last glance at the party still going on behind him, before approaching the balustrade to join Sadihak. "I wish you'd quit." He admitted. The words were uninhibidating- flowing as clean as milk."It's going to kill you some day."

"We're all going to die someday." Sadihak replied. It was the easy, default justification they always used. Even when justifying it to themself, it was what they said.

Enzo was silent again for a moment. "Well, it's going to kill you faster."

Something uncomfortable tightened in Sadihak's lungs. They couldn't bare to face Enzo, so they looked out- out onto the open, empty sky, onto the limitless sea, onto the moon and stars so perfectly still and distant. The sea crashed. The wind bit at their core. And they were, for once, honest. "Maybe that's the point."

Enzo was silent for a long time. Sadihak could feel their gaze on them. They fought the urge to leave, to light up, to laugh it off. They pretended to look at the view, but they couldn't stay focused. All they could think about was Enzo's gaze on them.

"Reagan." He said their name, the name he knew them by.

"You're right." Sadihak forced a smile, and turned back to Enzo, feigning a light mood. "I'm too pretty to die young. And if I did, who would you drag to your soirees?""

That earned a quiet, if sligtly awkward chuckle from Enzo. "I guess I'd have to find someone else to drag to these. You seem like you've been enjoying yourself, though."

"It would take someone very strange or very stupid not to enjoy this." Sadihak gestured to the sea, the sky, the luxurious house around them. "I don't know how I'm going to go back to city life after this is done."

A moment passed, and Enzo dared something else. "You could always stay here. Not here, here but… in this life, with me."

It was a joke. "Hah. As if. I don't belong here. If I've learned anything during my time here, it's that."

A quick glance towards Enzo told Sadihak he wanted to say more, but he didn't. Instead, he changed the topic. "Were you enjoying the party, at least?"

Sadihak considered for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess so. I think I'm enjoying myself more, out here. You can see so many more stars here than in the city."

"That's one of my favorite things about being out here." Enzo nodded. He stepped closer to Sadihak, and pointed up at a cluster of stars. "See that bright one? That's the North Star. And there's Ursa Major, and Minor…"

Sadihak wasn't listening to the words. They were listening to the soft up-and-down of Enzo's voice, listening to his breathing, to the beating of their own heart. They looked up at the stars, and tried to see what he did. They tried to see a way out of this that would end well.

An especially heavy gust of wind blew towards them, and Sadihak shivered. "God, it's so cold you'd think it's winter."

"You must be freezing in just… that." Enzo, with good intentions, looked over Sadihak's bared body, but couldn't hide his blush. "We should go back inside."

"No, no- I'd like to stay out here a little more. Some stuffy old lady was glaring at me for drinking chamagne in there." Sadihak protested. So what if they had to be cold- it would be worth it for a few more minutes of solitude with Enzo.

"… okay. But take my jacket, at least." Before Sadihak could protest, Enzo had slipped off his jacket and laid it over Sadihak's shoulders. A secret, warm glee ran over them as they held it close to their body. It smelled like him.

"Thank you. You're too nice to me."

"It's the least I can do." He shrugged, then paused. "So… someone was mad about you… about champagne?"

Sadihak couldn't help but laugh.