MASKTOURN

It had been a long journey for Kenji, but now he was finally here. Standing right outside the doors to the Lifebringer's inner sanctum. Most people didn't get this far, but the guards had taken his claims of 'knowing her before she was the lifebringer' seriously, especially when Albanes, herself, sent her signed approval for the meeting. And here he was. The high temple was awash with dim- every twisting corridor and shadowy chamber of it. Outside, a typical Loucari winter storm raged, though it was impossible to notice in the stuffy inside of the temple. The only light came from the rare clerestory window, or the much more common wall-mounted oil lamp. He was in the very heart of the temple- the sealed sanctum, rooms fit inside each other like nesting dolls. The door before him was intricately carved with unrecognizable runes, and with the ceremonial ringing of a gong, it opened. Behind the door was a surprisingly modest chamber. It consisted of simple walls, a tiled floor, a glass-roofed ceiling covered by snow. The only furnishing in the room was a simple carpet on the floor, covered by supplies for some kind of coffee ceremony. The room was illuminated by a simple oil lamp on the carpet, and the faint sunlight that peaked through the snow, and sitting on the carpet was the form of an old friend. If she could be called that. Albanes rose from her sitting position as Kenji entered. She... looked about the same as the last time Kenji had seen her. She wore her dark curls loose around her shoulders, and dressed in a simple, blood-red dress, with long sleeves and a gathered waist. Had she always worn such heavy, gold jewlery? Had her eyes always had that gold tint to them? She smiled, very faintly, upon seeing Kenji. "Hello, again. It's been a while." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Everything about this place makes Kenji’s skin feel wrong. It’s still a warm welcome after the freezing storm outside, but the sort of warm that feels more like sharp pins and needles than any sort of real relief. She isn’t happy with him. This place isn’t happy with him. He’s certain of that much. At least keeping Her forced back is more than enough of a distraction from the way it feels like he never should have come here. He’s somewhat surprised by the level of…formality? Security? Maybe a combination of the two. From the bits and pieces of what he remembered about talking to the Lifebringer, they hadn’t quite seemed this reserved. Just thinking of the name spikes a headache. The room that Kenji is led to is plain, with little personal belongings that he can see. Maybe more of an entryway or something like that? He isn’t sure. Regardless, it’s the person he came to see that matters. Kenji smiles in return, though noticeably more strained than hers. (Also, noticeably, visible. There’s a scarf loosely around his neck, but no mask in sight.) She might look the same, but he’s certainly changed over the last twenty or so years. Aside from his worn traveling clothes plus a healthy amount of exhaustion lining his face, there’s the horns, the blackened eyes, the faint grayness and darkened veins here and there of his skin…. “Sure has,” he manages in reply, chest tightening around the words through no action of his own. “I probably should’ve reached out ahead of time or something, I just…” There’s so much going on in his mind it almost hurts to try and small talk around it. “I..hope it’s not a bad time. But I don’t— There’s no one else I know to go to, I… I could really use your help.” @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

"A lot has changed." Albanes said, in lieu of anything else to say. She wrapped a hand around a wrist, and Kenji might notice the new burn scars mottling and decorating the flesh of both forearms. She took in a heavy breath. "It's alright. You-" She stilled for a moment. "You... need my help." Something slight shifted in her expression, a ghost of... familiarity, or something pretending to be it. "So. What can the Lifebringer do for you today?" @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Kenji notices, but doesn’t let his gaze linger long enough to stare. He knows how bad receiving that stare feels. If Albanes doesn’t mention it, he won’t either. It doesn’t feel like his place. His stomach sinks, at the change in her expression. He’s here for her, not the Lifebringer— there’s a difference…isn’t there? Then again, there isn’t much of one for him, not anymore. The constant stream slipping through the cracks in whatever mental barriers he could throw up is reminder enough of that. “I don’t— I don’t expect anything from you,” he starts, stress creeping into his voice, hands raised slightly as he winces at how it sounds out loud. “I mean, that came out wrong, I just— I know you don’t owe me anything and I can— pay you back, somehow, money o-or a favor or something, but it’s—“ He gestures at himself, words lost for a moment. The pounding in his head is getting stronger. “She doesn’t— I shouldn’t be here. But you’re one of the only people who might understand. Things are getting worse. I’m getting worse. I—“ Kenji cuts himself off, closes his eyes, breathes in slowly just to remind himself that he can. His voice is steadier, but more desperate, as he continues. “I can feel myself changing. M-More than it looks like. And I don’t know what to do about it anymore.” @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Albanes stands still, expectantly, as Kenji explains himself. "I could sense her when you entered this place." She frowned, and began to sit back down on the carpeted floor. "Come, sit down. I'll get you something to drink." She took in a heavy breath, distracting herself from thoughts by pouring Kenji a cup of coffee. "I'm not sure how much I'd even be able to do- but since she and I rule such opposing domains, I would certainly be able to interfere with her control." Something nagging in her chest, that may or may not be her, pulls her more towards that possibility. "And if you'd allow, I could maybe make up for the support she gives you. Supplemented with my own power, of course. Though I'd consider myself a... less vengeful god to be beholden to." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Even though he’s been directly invited, Kenji still starts, then stops, then moves hesitantly to the table to sit opposite Albanes. He takes the offered cup, but doesn’t drink just yet—staring down into the liquid as he listens. “I just.. I don’t know. Maybe interfering would be enough. I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of her, not anymore at least… But suppressing her more than I can without k— without hurting myself, it- it could help.” Kenji finally pauses to take a sip of the coffee, more so out of needing a pause than anything, and then admits shakily, “I don’t want Jax to have to see what’s happening. I need to slow it down.” He finally looks up from the coffee at Albanes’s offer, somewhat warily caught off guard. Not necessarily in a bad way, but…something about the way she phrases it. It’s not quite interest that drives him to ask. “They would let you do that kind of thing?” @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Albanes doesn't pore herself a cup of coffee- even after just a year, she's become so attuned to her body's physical needs becoming less and less. "Well, like I said, I can at least try." She reassured, though her tone was flat. "There's... got to be something I can do." At his question, her gaze grew distant. "There is no longer... a 'them' to be worried about. I've ascended, fully. I am the Lifebringer, and the Lifebringer is me." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

@em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Kenji’s grip tightens on the coffee mug. It’s just barely perceptible, but it’s tense. “…I see,” is his shortened reply, abruptly and carefully neutral. He’d been worried about that. “..Did you choose that?” He asks after another moment, fingers tapping quietly against the ceramic. He remembered her saying, years ago, that they sustained her similar to how She sustained him, but the details were foggy. The last thing he wanted to do was misunderstand. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Albanes considered her response carefully. "I... yes. I chose it. One cannot become the Lifebringer unwillingly." "You didn't come all the way here to hear about my woes, though." She sighed. "Whenever you're ready, we can begin." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

If only it were that easy for him. Kenji doesn’t say that bit out loud now, though. “I didn’t,” he admits, “but I can. If you’d like. Cursed friend to cursed friend.” It’s an attempt at lightheartedness that somewhat falls short given the wariness written across his face. Still, though, he does consider them friends. But if she doesn’t want to, again, he won’t push. “If you..want to try something,” he nods slowly. “I just… Something, I don’t know, exploratory first?” He’s gotten better at hiding it, but the creeping nerves are still audible in his voice. “It’s be nice not to have a heart attack in the process..” He can already feel his chest tightening, his muscles tensing through no will of his own. There’s no telling what might happen to him if Albanes goes for Her directly. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Albanes was not cursed- at least, right now, she didn't feel like it. She was not cursed any more than a river was cursed to follow the path it had carved. This was her doing. Her own will- whether it be her human action, or the will of the divine entity she now embodied. "Mhm. I was thinking... something defensive. So I can ensure your safety before trying anything too risky. I can take you to a place where my power is... more complete. Where she will be less able to harm you." Albanes hummed. "Under my wing, you will mot die." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

“Defensive. Right.” The way Albanes describes it: taking him somewhere else, ‘under her wing’, it sets off alarm bells in the back of Kenji’s mind. Too bad the constant assault on his barriers is more than enough to drown them out. He clenches his jaw, shoulders hunching as his purple eye flickers. Despite his original meaning to not demand help, he can’t help the desperation slipping back into the words he grits out with gravel leaking into his voice. “Y-You might want to hurry—“ @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

"Of course." Albanes replied flatly, now abandoning most pretense of smalltalk. She held out her hands to Kenji. "Your hands, please." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

After a moment, Kenji twitches, not processing immediately but reaching out to place his hands in hers once he does. They’re shaking, ever so slightly. He doesn’t seem to have anything else to say at this point, whether that’s by his own volition or not. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Albanes took Kenji's hands in her own, and pressed her thumbs firm into his palms. Her head lulled back, and though her eyes were closed she looked upward. A bright, harsh energy poured into Kenji- a dull, warm ache that overtook his senses first from his hands, then his arms, then his entire body. Something within him- a very certain something, was being quelled. His chest would ache- in his lungs and heart most prominently, but not in a way that would make him worry. It seemed as if something was overriding his ability to think, making him certain this was all okay. Amara would be acutely aware of the interference, the way the Lifebringer before her vessel deliberately and carefully undermined her control, but there'd be little she could do to stop it. This was their place of power. The Lifebringer slipped into Kenji's form like a scalpel sliding under skin. Kenji's vision, and every other sense, were completely overwhelmed with light. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

As soon as Albanes takes his hands, Kenji sucks in a sharp breath. There’s a stabbing pain in his chest, and his ‘heart’ pulses a deep shade of purple that glows even through his winter clothes. Then suddenly, the pain is gone, dry and achy warmth creeping through his veins. The glowing still remains, not that he notices. Everything is fine now. He is fine now. It has to be. On the other hand, the battle raging in his mind that he is not aware of would have torn him apart under any other circumstances. Amara is weakened here, but she is not weak—and she is desperate too, for an almost similar reason. In the end, she yields, if only to preserve her sense of being. Her last-ditch effort, as light burns away at her host and fills the crevices she had been scraped out of kicking and screaming, is to bury what is left of this piece of her deep into his heart and mind. Two fragments: one of what had once been a young woman, the other a formless and nameless thing full of the suffering of eons. She has never been good at biding her time. Perhaps she will learn now. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

When Kenji's vision faded back, he was not where he was before. He sat alone in a shadowed, chilly bower. Pale moonlight filtered through treetops, and he'd become quickly aware of the fact he was standing on the slope of a mountain. The ground was slightly inclined. Pine surrounds him on all sides, whisping in the lilting, brusk wind. The forest is as quiet as it is dense, and he cannot tell what- if anything, is lurking in the shadows. Albanes is gone, though. Was this the safe place she spoke of? It seems he has two options, though. He can descend the mountain, or travel up it. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

“Albanes?” He blinks, and all he can see are trees. The quiet of the forest pounds through his head like a constant, hurricane-force headache. His breathing picks up in his chest, still-glowing purple light casting an eerie shadow around him, and as he hurriedly spins around looking for Albanes it becomes painfully clear that he is—or at lest appears to be—entirely alone. He has not been truly alone for decades now. Fear cripples him momentarily. A forest like this one is filled with no memories beyond agony and loss, and the ground rolls beneath him for a second before he realizes the extent of the incline he stands on. He begins to move— slowly at first, carefully, then hurrying, and then finally running, the feeling of the trees as if they are closing in on him spurring his climb, up and up. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

A wise choice. As Kenji clamors upward, he's treated to quite a view- at the base of the mountain, a rampaging forest fire tears through wood and living tree. Kenji is treated to none of its warmth- only the sight of it consuming, and the thickness of the smoke on the cold night air. As he travels upward, away from the smoke, the trees grow denser. Kenji wouldn't be aware of where the summit is- only that it's a long, long journey to get there. The ground is just even enough that he can easily find footing, but difficult enough he won't be confident in it. Never does it get so easy he'd be inclined to give up, but it's never kind enough to let him rest. The wood is dense, the forest is dark, and Kenji is alone- at least, he'd be certain he was alone til he hears the snapping of a twig behind him, then the soft brushing against a bush, the gentle padding of human footsteps. Someone is there in the woods with him. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫 (edited)

He’s no stranger to running through forests, but it’s been a decent amount of time and he’s certainly much older since then. The sight of the roaring fire beneath him is simply just more motivation to keep moving—perhaps he would have stopped to look closer, but something feeling too deep-seated to know urges him on. A long-forgotten survival instinct, of sorts. The trees and the smoke and the sky, everything feels trapping in a way that breaks out a cold sweat on his skin. He stops, just enough to force a deeper, ragged breath, and it’s then that he hears it. A snap, a rustle, a thud, and he’s freezing entirely in place—ready to bolt again, unless... The hope that crawls into his voice is fearful, embarrassingly so. “….Albanes?” @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

It isn't Albanes. The person that emerges from the woods into the moonlit clearing is pale- both in color and with fright. They can't be older than twenty-five, and they're trembling, though not with only fear. They wear clothes made from rough woven cloth and furs- a sort of poncho is draped over their shoulders. In one hand, they hold a shepard's crook, in the other, a knife carved from a large animal's bone. Nearly their entire front is stained in blood- though the red is most centralized around their mouth. As if... they were a very messy eater. It steps carefully into the clearing, and not once does its haunting gaze break from Kenji. One eye is brilliant gold, the other a pale, ghostly blue. "She's not here. Not now. It's just me." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Any hope he might have had crashes to the ground. He stumbles backwards one, two, three steps until he’s half in the bushes, spine against a tree that had not been there in the harried glance thrown over his shoulder. A dull chill settles into his bones. The blood staining them is strong enough thar he can smell the sharp tang of iron and rust even from a distance, and it curdles in his mouth. No. This is most certainly not Albanes. It may be staring at him, but he doesn’t stare at them—his own, haunted gaze locked on to the large knife held in its hand. It thrusts forth memories of hard dirt, stained with blood, of metal and stone biting his skin. Of things much worse than that. “What do you want,” he manages. Even that much makes his stomach churn. There is very much the sense that he should not be here. Not now. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

The person walks slowly- like an animal on the prowl. And it knows exactly who its prey is. It doesn't pounce- not yet. Its gaze does not waver from Kenji. It smiles. "I want you." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

It smiles, and it hunts, and he turns and runs like the hunted thing that he is. Branches smack against his limbs, leaves obscuring his vision and his own heartbeat drowning out the forest silence. But the clearing is small, and the trees are closing in, and he does not know where he is going. If there is anywhere he can go. There is an itch beneath his skin, a yearning to lash out and fight back, but there is nothing left to grasp on to. He does not want Her there but he is used to Her there and in this moment, reaching for Her and finding Her gone, it is simply and downright terrifying. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

They pursued relentlessly. The person was hot on Kenji's trail, only inches from slaughtering him at any moment. Every time he stumbled, even for a moment, their hunter inched closer- closer and closer and closer- their bone-knife held out like a promise to be fulfilled. Amara might not be there, and this place might not be real, but Kenji could not escape the harsh realities of age, life, and exhaustion. He'd stumble, he'd take a wrong turn, and he'd have to pause and catch his breath. And the hunter still pursued. There was only so much forest he could trek through... and it seemed like he was being driven somewhere. But he wouldn't know where. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Roots catch his feet and paths twist into dead ends he should have seen coming. They are corralling him somewhere, somehow, and though he knows it deep in his bones he cannot stop running. In the same instant, each thudding step and stumble and scrape, he is 16 and he is 46 and he is running for his life and he is going to die. He can’t help the tears that blur his vision, the growing sob that chokes the air out of his throat. He’d chosen this. Just like he’d chosen Her, on the brink of death, all those years ago. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

Eventually, Kenji broke out of the trees and into one final clearing- a clearing that sat at the very peak of the mountain. Unnatural stone walls surrounded him on all sides, too high to climb. There's no way out. He's been cornered. The pale figure stands at the entrance to the ring, awash in moonlight. It angled its blade at Kenji, though they were separated by a few good yards. "You shouldn't have run from me." It said. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

He just barely manages to stop himself before he runs into one of the stone walls slicing through the ground. One direction, then the other, until he’s forced to turn and face the figure behind him. His back presses against the wall, one hand scrabbling at the stone as if trying to convince himself it’s not real. His fingernails break against it, tiny flecks of rock lodging behind them, and his knees nearly buckle. For a moment the walls seem to stretch and misshape, pressing in on him on all sides. He blinks, and the forest is back. The figure is still there. It is waiting. “Don’t—“ His voice cracks, painful in his throat. “Don’t come any closer.” Around his feet, smoke begins to form. It’s light and gray and the first time in over thirty years that he’s seen it like this. Useless. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

In the dim light, Kenji would be able to see a look of absolute hatred and repulsion pass over the person's face as he told them what to do. It began walking towards him, its knife outstretched. "Don't run again." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

A switch flips. Paralyzed in place, gaze hazy and half-distant yet still locked onto the knife, his heart leaps into his throat. “I won’t,” he breathes immediately, pressing himself harder against the wall. Once it slips out, it’s like a dam has broken loose. “I won’t, please, I swear— I-I won’t, I’m not— Please, you can’t— I don’t— I-I’m not running, I’m not, I—“ The jumbled, disjointed pleas fall out of his mouth like stones, falling flat one after another after another. He’s not even sure what he’s begging for anymore. A swift death, maybe. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

The person approached slowly, savoring the terror in Kenji's eyes each step of the way. The pale bone of the knife glinted dully in the moonlight. Had it always had such a thick crust of blood on the rim. Once it was close enough to him, it forced Kenji down with a swift movement of his shoulder, making him grovel at its feet. They took his jaw squarely into their hand, making him gaze up into their eyes. "Good. You're very, very good at following orders." Out of reflex more than anything, they lick their lips clean of the blood that stains them. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Pained breath rasps in his throat, a harsh wheeze of exhaustion mixed with panic, as his chest glows with a duller light than before. It casts long shadows across the both of them, gleaming against the knife. His knees hit the dirt hard before he’s even realized through the haze that they’ve grabbed him. The jolt is like a shockwave to his system, one that is sharply redirected by the hand gripping his jaw and rough fingers brushing against the deep scars littering his face. He only makes eye contact for a second before tensing—his eyes squeezing shut tight as he shudders. Distantly, like moving through honey, his hand folds to allow his thumb to press gently against his wedding ring. Perhaps he thought it would be comforting. “Please,” he chokes out, once again a shapeless, formless plea. It’s all he has left in him. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

"Please?" It asks, daring, mocking, and leans closer to Kenji. In a breathy whisper. "And what could you possibly want from me? Look at me. Look at me when you speak to me." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

He can’t. He can’t. With his eyes closed, he can think that maybe this is not real. Maybe Albanes had not lied to him. Maybe his eyes are closed, and he can open them and wake up back in that tiny, bare room and leave this time before he dooms himself, again. He knows what he wants, and he knows they won’t give it to him. (I want to live. Such a simple sentence. It’s not the first time he’s begged for it from a god.) He doesn’t dare reply. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

"Mhm. As pathetic as I thought." It scoffs. "At least, you will make a good puppet." The knife clatters to the ground as they drop it, and they shift their hands to press on Kenji's temples. Slowly, deliberately, they beginning sealing away Amara's control over Kenji- locking it away to where it's weaker, less aware of itself. But they do not, not for one moment, let him free. Every modicum of control that is stripped from Amara is replaced by their own, foreign power over Kenji. To say that it hurt would be a grave understatement. His veins were alight with all the rage two all-powerful deities could muster. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

Eyes still closed, he hears the knife hit the ground and for the briefest of moments, there is relief lining his face. And then its hands touch his head, and there’s nothing he can do. It feels like his very soul is being fragmented, picked apart and tied back together without rhyme or reason. He has long known She has no qualms about hurting him, yet it does not take long to realize that neither does It. There aren’t enough synonyms for pain to describe what it truly does to him. A sharp snap echos out into the trees, and the purple glow lighting both of their faces seems to stutter, slowly fading into a murky, darkened color that pulses out of sync on either side of the crack that nearly splits his heart in two. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

As quickly as the snap sounds, as quickly as the pain crescendos, it dulls. It does not ease- the building, peaking sharpness is replaced by a duller, agonizing ache that seems to permeate Kenji to his marrow. He'd still be aware of the Lifebringer's foreign control over him. That wasn't going away anytime soon. But he wouldn't have much time to muse about it. The exhaustion and ache is suddenly catching up to him, and he's slipping readily into unconsciousness with every passing breath. The person before him lets go of his face, and lets him slump lamely forward. @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫

It hurts too much to try and think, when his brain feels like mush and his bones feel like jelly. He’s rapidly losing himself, rapidly losing hold over what makes him himself, and he crumples into the dirt with a pained noise that might have been a sob if he had energy enough to do so. His wedding ring glints in the moonlight, somewhere on the ground ahead of him. Jax, love… I’m so sorry. One more breath, and his chest seems to stop rising. He won’t die. But there’s something new in charge of his lungs. @innsjo | kyrie🪶+ darcy🖋+npcs

As he slips into unconsciousness, the last thing Kenji becomes aware of is gentle hands on his body. It's something distant, almost familiar in a way he can't place, but in a caring, gentle way. It might not even be real, but he can distantly hear Albanes's voice lulling him to sleep. "I'm sorry. But you'll be safer here." @em || enya 💥 + kenji 🌫